[process, essay]

by Nancy S.M. Waldman

Hi everyone. Welcome to September. Summer here in North America is fast waning—even though where I am in Nova Scotia, September is one of the best weather months.

I’ve been feeling quite ambivalent about the PCQ over the summer. There are lots of new visitors and subscribers and readers which is wonderfully gratifying and fun for me—Welcome to all of you!!—but I haven’t posted frequently or sent out emails which made me feel a little guilty. On the other hand, I’ve had a great summer for creativity so I felt that I was working to recharge my batteries, build up my reserves and just change things up for a while. As we know, it’s easy to get in a rut. Even if it’s a creative one that works for us, it’s still a rut and ruts tend to get deeper and less roomy the longer we’re in them. Sooner or later, we have to climb out, stretch and look around for a renewed way of being.

Summer is the best time for me to do this.

My husband and I have an old Victorian-era house that we’re fixing up (the exterior), so we have a small window of opportunity for working outside. August is prime time. It felt really *right* to be outside doing physical work. I had spent so much time at my computer last year that I was beginning to have nerve pain from too much sitting! I thought the physical strain might be problematic for an old gal like me who’d been so sedentary of late, but not only did it feel great (okay, there were mornings when I woke up in considerable pain—but it was the *good* kind of pain that went away fast!), but it got rid of my sciatica almost immediately!

More than all that, it reminded me that as much as I love the computer—The PCQ, the writing, the digital photo work, the website design, the computer art—I also love other things that I’ve been neglecting. I haven’t been playing the piano and will soon loose what little ability I have if I don’t remember to practice. I love cooking, baking, yoga, gardening, reading, quilting, photography, painting and more. None of those can be done while sitting at the computer.

It’s all about balance, isn’t it? And balance, like most things in life, isn’t static. It requires constant adjustment. Think of a tight-rope walker. A short walk high above the ground requires untold numbers of constant muscular changes to negotiate the span. No matter how many times the acrobat has walked the rope, no matter how talented or experienced, his awareness of balance must be at the forefront of his mind every single time.

As we grow and evolve, we’re the same. We don’t get to a point where balance becomes automatic. Our lives will always be susceptible to being off-kilter. And, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If we come across some new passion, there’s not a thing wrong with throwing ourselves into it even if we neglect certain other things for that new activity! However, when we realize there are beginning to be negative side effects from our tilted world, (like nerve pain from sitting at a computer for hours a day!) we still and always have to stop, take stock and see what we can do to re-achieve balance.

What can get easier over time, is our awareness of the need for balance. For me, the seasons help. While I no longer have kids (in the house) who go back to school, September is a change nonetheless. I like to use the different seasons to trigger my awareness of how I’m spending my time in the context of ALL the things I love to do and want to accomplish.

What about you? What triggers your awareness that it’s time to readjust the balance in your life? Take care all and happy change of seasons wherever you are!

[-practically mperfect-]

by Nancy S.M. Waldman

You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.

Friedrich Nietzsche said that and I - with quite a bit of creative chaos in my life - completely understand what he means. Chaos - if we tone it down to a buzz of unrestrained energetic activity - can be an inspirational muse. However, chaos is hardly the only thing we need for creativity.

Creative chaos will not get a zine out - on time or otherwise. “Quarterly” doesn’t mean much to the chaos swirling in one’s soul. Chaos doesn’t know a single thing about html or how to put in a link that works. And chaos can’t write an essay for anything in the world.

Chaos does not keep up the blog entries.

Chaos cannot re-write a novel.

For those things and more, you need another “c” word; a word with a lot less magic, a lot less pizzazz, a lot less playfulness. You need consistency. This, folks, is the practical side of being practically creative. And it - or the want of it - comes up frequently for me.

Like all creatively conscious people, I adore those brilliant flashes of creativity when disparate ideas and materials come together in a new and exciting way. This stimulates and energizes and feeds on itself. So, if I occasionally feel those brilliant flashes, why worry about something as dull as consistency? Because not only does consistency accomplish tasks that chaotic creativity can’t, it also feels good to accomplish daily goals. Chaos cannot accomplish long-term, complicated projects. It takes consistency. It takes showing up for work, day after day.

For about a month after the first issue of the year came out, I was “showing up” to the Practically Creative blog most days. It was fun and creatively stimulating for me and, I believe, for others. I had plenty of gloriously creative raw material thanks to the Practically Creative flickr group. It didn’t take much time and I always felt better after doing them. It’s similar to the way I feel physically after exercising. Often I resist, but I always feel better when I do it. With the blog-roll I was on in February and early March, there was no reason for me to think that I couldn’t continue doing consistent daily blog entries forever. No reason except self-knowledge and experience. By now, I know myself pretty well.

Chaos and consistency don’t easily coexist. In my life and I think, the lives of many artistically creative people, chaos more often than not bests consistency in hand-to-hand, day-to-day combat. Even if we just call it moodiness, it’s enough to get us off track. So what can we do about it? We need both ‘creative chaos’ and consistency and they are close to being mutually exclusive!

We have to do what it says at the top of this article. We have to learn to accept our shortcomings. Consistency isn’t a parlour trick like a white rabbit conjured out of a hat. If it’s not in us as a natural attribute, then we have to practice acceptance, but we also have to foster more functional habits. It is a balancing act - think tightrope walker’s skill rather than a magician’s trick - to accept who we are. To embrace the strong parts of ourselves, those parts that are capable of giving “birth to a dancing star” while also repeatedly disciplining ourselves to show up so we can finish and bring our creative projects to the world.

Getting down on ourselves because we fail only gets in our way. The goal is not perfection. It is progress. Guilt and self-hatred come from that perfectionist thinking and will keep us from showing up tomorrow if we let it. Only a balance of self-awareness and the steady goal of making ourselves better at consistency will help us achieve a finished product.

Writer, Stephen Nachmanovitch said this about creativity:

The noun of self becomes a verb. This flashpoint of creation in the present moment is where work and play merge.

We will, more often than not, miss that brilliant flashpoint if we haven’t shown up for the work. That’s consistency. We have to work when we aren’t inspired. We have to work even when we feel uncreative. We have to do it when it isn’t intuitive. The experience of it being “play” instead of “work” will follow from that consistent effort.

Whether or not we finish our creative projects - whether, for instance, my novels get re-written or my blog gets an entry today - isn’t going to make a difference in anyone else’s life, but it will in our own. Even if consistency isn’t our strongest trait let’s vow to continue working on the habit of showing up everyday.

Maybe today there will be a brilliant flash and, just maybe, that star will dance.

Originally published in the July 2006 issue of The Practically Creative Quarterly
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